Kung Fu is a supernatural defense martial arts system developed in China to ward off attacking ninjas from Japan. It was introduced to America by a mutated Kung Fu Master called Kwai Chang Caine aka Master of Puppets, aka David Carradine. Adepts of Kung Fu learn the highly guarded secret of learning to shoot noodles out of their right nostril and to knock out their opponents without actually coming into physical contact with them as well as other deadly techniques (This included droping Acme fire - crackers in the victims' underpants and gleefully watching them). Kung fu masters usually lose to oponents using The Norwegian Barfighting Method unless they are either drunk, high, or Bruce Lee. Every chinaman is known to be born with perfect Kung Fu skills.

The first master of Kung Fu was the legendary Zen master Zen, who came from India to China around 600 AD. He left India because he was sick of the lousy curry and desired more shrimp fried rice. He also had a thing for Chinese women. "Me love you long time" in India only meant the women would still be nagging you even in old age. In China it suggested something else entirely. Zen Master Zen, fed up with his sexual repression and the interminable behavior protocols one had to go through with Indian chicks in order to score, found the Chinese scene to be much more appealing. Zen Master Zen's shrimp was much pleased.

So what did he do? After having that dysfunctional experience with Emperor Wu and his insufferable court of eunuchs, he fled to the hills and found a nice cave where he proceeded to sit facing a wall for nine years. One day a young man named Hui Neng Fong Chuck Wy Uu So Fat Et Lon Choi Buck Shrimp Fried Rice approached him. Hui, as we'll call him for short, demanded to be accepted as a student. Zen Master Zen was not interested, as he was too engrossed in determining the future of the wall he was facing and of Kung Fu and associated business possibilities connected to the future and his ability to see into his own future lives. While realizing that a future incarnation of his would be the Green Hornet, and that Kato -- none other than Bruce Lee -- was to be his student, Hui suddenly chopped off his hand and threw it in Zen Master Zen's lap.

"Ah," intoned the Zen master Zen, "you have finally come! All my life I've waited for someone with such dedication!"

"Never mind," grimaced Hui. "Just teach me already before I bleed to death."

Zen Master Zen set about teaching the eager young one-handed Chinese man. He soon was found to be a man of immense natural talent (he knew the acme fire cracker trick by-heart), and Zen Master Zen proceeded to teach him the ancient arts of combat he had learned in India. This combat actually derived from Buddhist monks fighting off persistent mosquitos. In the course of flailing at them, they soon discovered how to hit the bastards most quickly and efficiently. They learned how to make drop kicks, roundhouse kicks, side kicks, chow mein, wraps, sweet and sour chicken, cream of Sum Yung Guy soup, shrimp fried rice and so on.

Hui Neng carried on the torch of his old master, reincarnating 1,400 years later as Uma Thurman to kill Bill. Bill Zen Master Zen, that is.

A generic term for any particilar skill, technical ability, talent, etc.

1) Chinese fo "Skill learned over time".

2) The martial art that is shown off in movies, but is rarely practical for the casual person. Only useful if one dedicates hours a day to it.

3) To physically attack

4) What happens when you cook a cat and call it crispy duck.

An often misinterpreted Chinese word group that means, "To expend energy." Kung Fu is not a martial art, but rather a philosophy. It is a method by which to perform a task.

Kung Fu is a game in which two or more people must play. The game is played by slapping each other on the hand. You can only make one move per turn. Once an attempt at slapping the other person's hand is made, you must keep your body in that position until your next turn. This game has also been called Ninja, but Kung Fu is its official name.

Not an actual martial art, but a name for a whole group of chinese martial arts. In chinese its translated to the term gong fu, or wushu. All other martial arts sweat kung fu, like the japs kendo and the koreans tae kwon do cant hold a candle against our kung fu

An overrated martial art that is popular due to Chinese movies and media attention. It's actually rather behind-the-times, rigid, and not very effective in this day and age. It's still a beautiful martial art to watch with an interesting history, but in all honesty, you'd probably be just as well off with a traditional boxing, wrestling, Taekwondo, or Karate school if you were looking to get into some sort of martial arts training.

That's not to say that Kung Fu is useless or that it isn't great for other facets of life, but it's reputation as a hugely powerful martial art is a bit too flattering.

Perhaps if you dedicated your life to Kung Fu training or moved to a Shaolin Temple then the results of your training may turn out differently, but you don't have to worry that your buddy who takes Kung Fu classes twice a week can twist you up into a pretzel. It just doesn't work that way in real life.