I am in constant agony. My life is a mess. As a kid I had a natural aptitude for math and science, but I let it get to my head, ultimately ruining my possibility to go to college.

I wasted my life playing video games and watching the television; the natural talents I once had have apathied and worn away, leaving the one thing I was good at behind.

My life has been nothing but a fastly accelerating downward spiral and I have failed to provide anything of with to anyone.

The objectively best weapon in TF2.

Self-explanatory phrase. Used when you describe a time you laughed. Given the way it is phrased, it could be sarcastic to describe a situation where you weren't laughing.

A gun that shoots BB pellets, and is highly desired by young children in the 1940s. It has a secondary purpose as a device with which to shoot your eye out.

Term used to describe unlucky people who are in pain and need of assistance due to an issue eating away at them.
They come flocking to anyone willing and able to help them, no matter past reputation, and without checking for ulterior motives.
See also: Cryto Bro, MLM, Alternative Medicine

(See: Smart-ass)
(Cf. Recursion)