Progressive

The pervasive and all consuming fear, that someone, somewhere, may be doing something without your permission; and the obsessive compulsive desire to control all things that goes with it.
Our mayor is so progressive, he banned sodas larger than 3 millilitres.
A customer came in and asked to see the manager before they even ordered; Karens are so progressive!
by CyborgimusPrime May 30, 2020
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Progressive

A political platform defined usually by, but not limited to, the developmental advancement of American society through pragmatic and practical means. Contrary to right wing beliefs, Progressives are not the second coming of communism and the russians, instead they seek to improve the lifestyles of the vast majority of Americans by providing tax funded benefits that would help the country grow as a whole.
Neo Con: "Those damn progressives are trying to finish what stalin started! My sign SAYS SO!"

Spectator: "You do realize you're holding that thing upside down right?"
by Waterboy72 November 15, 2010
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Progress

What we humans claim we are making as we consume non-renewable resources and generally make each other miserable.
Bill - "I heard 14 men died during the construction of the Empire State Building."
Tom - "A small price to pay for progress!"
by urdanbictionary October 15, 2008
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progressative

1. favoring meaningful progress in addressing a problem without having to follow an ideological bias or loyalty
2. dedicated to ignoring unproductive political posturing or infighting and getting to a reasonable solution
I can't help being a progressative, because I'm hungry for intelligent change, and I'm so tired of listening to those politicians that talk nothing but conservative or progressive purity and accomplish nothing that helps people improve their futures.
by KKattA March 04, 2021
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Progressive

A term that former liberals co-opted when they discovered that their delusional beliefs didn't fit any recognized definition of the word liberal.

These fools are frequently self-loathing, unsuccessful losers who can only feel better by projecting their failures onto their opponents.

A "Progressive" is identified by the following behaviors/beliefs:

- Knows what is best for everybody else
- Claims to be well-informed even though they get their news/talking points from the Daily KOS and/or MSNBC

- Believes that personal wealth is evil yrt they fawn over wealthy celebrities and limousine liberals

- Believes corporations and profit are evil, and will tweet about this 24/7 on their fancy iPad

- Thinks name-calling and demonizing opponents is the same as debate

- Accuses every person with a dissenting view of being a racist

- Supported Occupy Wall Street from the comfort of their living room, not the rape tent

- Drives a Prius with a COEXIST bumper sticker
- Believes in the rights of everyone, except those who disagree

- Thinks the Constitution is flawed because they can't control all 3 branches of government

- Believes YOUR success could only have come at THEIR expense

- Believes Al Gore is right about global warming, even though his carbon footprint 100X of the average person

- Thinks voter identification is racist, because it discriminates against dead people
Conservative: I believe in personal responsibility and smaller government

Progressive: You racist hate-monger

Conservative: You said you believed in equal rights for everybody

Progressive: Racist! You should die!
by Fast Eddie, AKA The KOS November 04, 2013
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Progress

Slowing down the rate at which one is falling behind.
Boss, I'm making progress on your project. I should have last week's deliverable to you by next month.
by PeteyTheHoser June 12, 2009
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progress

A process that miraculously produces a product that appears well done to a fractional minority of people.
"Microsoft really made progress with Office 2007!"
by mnm3808 August 05, 2009
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